“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best, the fairest, the most successful, the most desirable or the cleverest of them all?” How often does this unspoken question appear on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and on other social media platforms! Essentially, comparing oneself with others is a positive thing. After all, it can help us improve our understanding of ourselves or assess the behaviour we display in different situations even better.
Comparing ourselves with others can also strengthen us in times of crisis, especially when we realise that we are not alone with our problems, but that others make similar experiences or have to deal with similar challenges.
COMPARING ONESELF WITH OTHERS CAN BE CONSTRUCTIVE OR DESTRUCTIVE
Constructive comparisons with others can spur us on to make changes or improvements when we honestly try to refine ourselves. But in many cases such comparisons elicit pure envy. Namely when we
… are discontented
… do not make the most of our talents
… feel at a disadvantage
… begrudge others their success
… see that others live our dreams
… make others believe that we feel much better than is actually the case.
Preferably, we compare ourselves with people with whom we have a lot in common or who are in similar job or life situations. And social media actively supports us in doing so.
Therefore, it would be worth consideration to analyse one’s own life first, in order to find out if it is actually “worth” it to envy others. Many things that seem enviable at a first glance, look entirely different at a second glance. After all, the price many people have to pay for being envied by others is frequently too high. Therefore, the comparison and the envy are quickly put into perspective, because one should take into account all aspects, including the compromises and sacrifices that someone has to make for their “enviable” life.
FEMALE COOPERATION INSTEAD OF FEMALE COMPETITION
Something that always cuts me to the quick is the competition that is openly or secretly going on between us women. As long as we women think of each other as rivals, we will always want to “win” or at least have the edge over each other. We want the most handsome man, the most perfect shape, the most flawless complexion, the smartest children or the most profitable job. But a lot of precious energy falls by the wayside in this pointless competition, and this does not make us happier at the end of the day.
As long as we women compete with each other and envy each other, we close our minds to our female elementary power. Because we compete with each other and envy each other, we focus our energies in a direction that neither gets us nor others anywhere. On the contrary! We display a kind of behaviour that is strongly informed by patriarchal ideology, which we actually should dismiss altogether. After all, the female power, which is inherent in every woman, is able to develop inner greatness and individuality, while at the same time not begrudging other women their otherness and happiness.